he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
