i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
