I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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