I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
