Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I looked at my own cervix.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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