You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
