her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
