i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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