my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
