so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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