I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
