That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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