how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
