Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
