apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
