So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
