we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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