plz talk dirty to me
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
