If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
