I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
