i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
