I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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