the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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