69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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