I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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