Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
