Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
