Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You're like the curious george of whores
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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