So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
