YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
