He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
