Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
