A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Its about making memories worth repressing
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
