If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
