Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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