Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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