No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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