Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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