i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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