those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
