I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
