Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Randomize
