I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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