I feel like abortions should bother me more
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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