It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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