after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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