It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
either way he was missing a nipple.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Randomize
