Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
