so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
