I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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