Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
