I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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