they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
